You know how you declare you totally hate something and label yourself an anti for life.
 You do right?
Well, do you also know how when you make that declaration, sometimes life has a way of making you eat those words and spin you 180degrees?
You don't? well...read on and educate yourself with my experience.

I never been a turn based fan. Those tactical games where by the characters walk on the spot and in a fixed square and await their turn.

I was fooled once, by Ogre Battle. The cute little character art of valkyrie, mages, archers,priestess and ogres splashed across the cd cover.

I was intrigued.

I brought the game back only to be frustrated by the system.
Having to wait for the enemies' turn and sometimes taking such a long time I threw the game out and swore off turn based games.

And Final Fantasy released a game on the tactical genre. I gave in, giving the game a chance but then I gave up.
I played it for awhile but seeing that I cannot recall much from the game/storyline it shows it wasn't even a blimp on my Awesome Games Radar.(AGR)

Fast-forward a couple of years and put a DS into my hands, I found myself with Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift. It was easy to see where this was headed.
Satisfying me for  the time being till I found a more suitable game for myself with the cute game art and then banishing it to the LGC,  Lousy Games Corner.

But., seeing that I stayed up till 5 am playing the game means something. I put the game in last night and didn't off it till my body was slumped on the bed in a "my muscles have all gone to  sleep" fashion.

Have I matured into a different kind of gamer?
Or was it just a one night stand kind of thing? (But seeing that the morning after, or rather, afternoon after, I am still thinking
about the game means it's not.! *gasp*.)

I might have to dig out all the tactics games from my LGC and see if they make it on my AGR.
I think it's time we look past our declarations and step out to try.

With life, you will never know.

Today my daddy said to me, "Penis."

Okay, okay, so he didn't just say it straight up.
Like look into my face and yelled, "PENIS".
Rather, it was because of a burning curiosity on the parts of both of us.

We wanted to know how the urine bag works.
The kind that hangs on the side of a hospital bed with a tube leading from the bag and into the trousers of a patient.

So apparently my dad, having asked the nurse for an explanation was now telling me how it works.

Without battling an eyelid or flinching, he said, "They just shovel it right into the penis..."
Even though I do not have a penis, it sounds rightfully painful and i crossed my legs tighter as if to protect my imaginary penis.
"..and up into the bladder." YEOWCH. Clinching my lower abdomen, I squelched up my face, wondering how it would feel peeing directly into a bag. It's like an external bladder.

Uncrossing my legs, I sat up, looked at my dad with wide eyes and asked, " what about females?"

Without missing a beat he replied, " They shovel it up the..."

Ok he didn't say vagina. Haha.
 I guess there's only so much censored words a father can say to his daughter.

"Challenges, in the most fearful form known to mankind, particularly targeting the student population of this small Asian country has invaded my slackerized school days. Next week commences the mass assessment of the size and prowess of the brain."

Funny how i wrote that back in 2003 and still it applies to me today.

Point 1) student population - yup. us, uol students.
          2) small Asian country - still a dot on the map and we all still have yellow skin.
          3) invaded - you can say that again.
          4) slackerized school days - things never change don't they?
          5) next week - OMG YES IT'S NEXT WEEK!


Prayers are welcome, people.

My Law lecturer looks like Paul Kellerman!
(but with a french accent)



Every time he finishes his sentences with a diplomatic smile, i cant help but shudder and think what's he
REALLY thinking behind that seemingly friendly look.

I mean we all know what he did to Sara.

Every time he goes, "Don't do this, Don't do this" (with regards to law essays) I half expect him to pull out an iron
from under the table and scream, "Don't do this, Sara." And the rip off his shirt revealing the iron scar on his
chest and then point to one of the students sitting among us and yell, "scofield!!" And then t-bag throws his
hand at kellerman and sucre crashes into the lect with his bike  and maricruz appears in her gown and
officer bellick ..............


Oh gosh oh gosh.
Prison break has entered sim.

The weather is bad.

 I sat at the dining table, with yesterdays and todays straitstimes, and with the very strong intention of digesting everything. 

5minutes into my endeavor, there was sweat forming at my frowning brow, my sleeves rolled up tightly and cutting into my pits and my right leg up on the chair in the ah beng fashion.

It was as if i was reading a research paper on the nuclear fission or Anthropology and Religion.  And the result of my frustration was the coolie pose.

They say music can soothe the savage beast.
Well, I say,sauna-like weather brings out the savage beast (who cannot understand a word on Anthropology and Religion).

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Recently, Joe.B has been having talks with me . I treasure these conversations we have, where everything is put out there. On the way back to my place, in his car, we touch upon the life we are leading to the life we are destined to live. From constant questioning and the underlying emotion of doubt to the strong unweaving sense of faith, even in the face of adversity. Personal experiences, diverse yet there a similarity of negativity. There is always resistance. Good and bad. How we faced to our resistance.  Daring to dream, to visualise success, to put everything into achieving it. To look at the big picture and eliminate the "what ifs". So much has been said. I need to keep at it. I need to have patience.

How did so many years of my life just pass like that?
I know it's because I never fight for anything. 
There isnt any outburst of passion; energy.
I drift along, I follow, I sway to the sounds of others.

It's time I make my own music.
To dance freely and to celebrate
Myself, my journey of discovery.
It begins and never ceases.

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